Throw the Book at It....

I'll be the first to admit that I'm an obsessive researcher. It gives me a sense of control when things are unknown or out of control. In fact, I'm  SUCH an obsessive researcher, that sometimes when I google things, every useful link is already highlighted in purple because I've already read it. (usually doesn't even stop me from reading it again...) Anyway.... whenever anyone recommends a book on autism, aspergers, ADHD, etc, I usually track it down and read it cover to cover in a matter of days, sometimes hours. I can't get enough information!

Now, some of these books have been downright awful. The autism parent community raves about this one book, for instance, "The Reason I Jump", which was written by a 13-year-old nonverbal boy with autism. I hated it....didn't find it useful...and I didn't see what all the fuss was about. Maybe it was more helpful for others... I don't know. 

Anyway, I wanted to share a list of books that I've read and re-read over the last couple of years. They are the ones I have found most helpful, interesting and well-written. 

Quirky Kids: By far my favorite. I wish someone had handed this book to me when B was three years old. Heck, I wish someone had handed this book to my mom when *I* was three years old. (it wasn't written yet... but that's beside the point.) First off, the stories told by the parents in it held SO many "ah-ha! That's a thing!!!" moments for me....  I saw all my kids and myself within these pages. It gives a great overview of ASD, sensory issues and their challenges. Also has some very helpful information on where to turn for help and if you have questions or concerns about your children --  the different public options (Infants & Toddlers programs, for example, which I knew nothing about when B was little, but wish I had), private options for evaluations, what evaluations entail, therapies, etc.  Also emphasizes that sometimes? Quirky really is just quirky, nothing else... and quirky is a-ok. ;)

I picked this one up at the library one day along with a whole stack of books on Asperger's Syndrome. It ended up being the only book that was worth anything from that pile! Like every other Chicken Soup book, this is a collection of positive essays written by parents with children on the autism spectrum. Some essays are more relatable, depending on where your child falls on the spectrum, but it's a great, quick, uplifting read. 

This one I have read about a hundred times over the last 20 years. It's a great book. Good, solid information written by an expert on the topic of AD(H)D .  

This I picked up at the library during another trip along with yet another giant pile of terrible written books about ASD. THIS book, however, is fantastic. It's funny, well-written and has great insights by the author, who didn't figure out until he was an adult that he had Asperger's.  I even convinced my husband to read this one! (we had a great time discussing it.... this is a whole other post. LOL!)

This one was recommended to me by J's  I&T teacher way early on. As soon as I started reading it I immediately recognized completely accurate descriptions of my oldest and youngest sons,  who are at opposite extremes of sensory processing issues. This is another book I wish someone had handed me eight years ago. (!!!!)

This is a companion book to the one above. TONS of great activities to help regulate kids with sensory needs. Here's the kicker... the first time I read through this book, I realized it had SO much in common with a book called "The Mother's Almanac", which is a book my mom always had around when I was little. It was originally published in 1975.... back then, these were activities for ALL kids....The whole thing made me realize that these activities, outside of maybe preschools, are often not common sense, go-to kid activities any longer.... rope ladders, balls, bubbles,  balance beams, obstacle courses,  beanbags....  they are such easy, simple things... and so many have fallen by the wayside for more complicated, often electronic alternatives. (definitely guilty here!)  Anyway, worth a read for lots of parents! Not even just parents with kids who have SPD!

Whether you have ASD kids or not, Temple Grandin is just flat-out fascinating. (If you haven't watched her movie, I think it's on Netflix. Check it out!)  In the book, She gives great insights into what it's like to to have an autistic brain.  Just really, really, good, interesting stuff. You can also look up her interviews on YouTube.  Her story is amazing! 

I'll try to add to this list in the future... always looking for new good reads! If you have a book to recommend, leave a comment! I'd love to check it out! 

School Triage....

Anyone with more than one child will attest to how you sort of auto-prioritize them at any given time according to who needs the most help/attention/whatever.... it changes yearly... monthly... weekly... sometimes even daily. LOL. Always reassessing....

Until, two days ago, the current triage order in our house was:
S - 2nd grade
J-   Pre-K 4
B - 5th grade

B spent most of last year cruising through 4th grade. We had virtually no hiccups... I didn't have any conferences with teachers that were outside of the regularly schedule fall conference. We had one team meeting where the teachers spent the entire half hour telling me how well he was doing.  (every parent should be the recipient of this wonderful gift at least once in their child's school career... it was so uplifting to hear all this after our initial team the year prior....)

J, was having his morning freakouts and occasional behavior issues at preschool....and definitely some worrisome issues I had to stay on top of with regard to relating to other children.

S, on the other hand, while steadily progressing, but still very much playing catch-up in first grade and needed constant vigilance with homework and conferences and strategizing with his teacher....

So that's where we started the school year....

I had an early conference with S's second grade teacher and she was having no issues with his work! I have checked in a couple more times via email and all is just cruising along really well. The work coming home is AMAZING to see given where he started last year. He brought home a writing assignment just yesterday that was so well done, I emailed the teacher to ask how much help he had. When she told me virtually none, I almost cried. He has turned a corner. He is actually LOVING school this year and motivated to do great work. It's wonderful to see the transformation that has come with more confidence. His favorite thing to say these days when he starts his homework is, "This is WAY too easy. I need harder work." This is not actually true... his work is perfectly appropriate for him right now.... but it's a testament to how far he has come... that he feels good enough about himself and his abilities to say this!

J is having such a good year I still can't even believe it. He skips into his classroom every day after giving me a huge hug and kiss. He loves his class and his teacher and going to school!  He's participating and enjoying the activities. We still have some issues with him not really playing WITH other children, but we're working on that.... but we're past the REALLY hard stuff, I think, so things are great for him right now.

B.... I thought all was going so well. Then he lost his binder. Then he lost his spelling homework. Then he had a breakdown about how bad he was feeling about himself and his inability to organize and stay on top of things. He's also got some serious anxiety going on about middle school and some upcoming fifth grade things like the Patriot Project and ballroom dancing. After virtually no contact with his teachers this year, I finally broke down and emailed them as a group. I want him to be becoming more independent in preparation for middle school... but he STILL needs some supports to get there. One teacher of the four wrote me back and is going to help him get his things together.... it's hard to convince teachers your child needs help when they are doing reasonably well academically... but I've been watching his homework grades drop on the new online grade book (not sure if it's a good or bad thing that I have access to this) and it's worrisome. Plus, he's SO upset.  Hoping to get him back on track with some tools and some simplification of his school organization. I don't think it's huge... just a hiccup. He lost some of his confidence though and we need to work on building him back up a little.... so just like that, he rocketed to the top of the list.

Anyway, so that's where we are. Who knows who will move to the top of the list next. It usually happens unexpectedly... LOL. I feel like what I've learned is that you can never let your guard down and assume if everything is okay, that it will stay okay.... you have to stay prepared to advocate for your child and get them what they need. NO ONE else knows your child like you do and no one is going to step up and do it for you... not their pediatrician... not their teachers... no matter how good or well-intentioned... it's up to you to make sure they get what they need, tell others what they need, or, if they are old enough, help THEM recognize and verbalize to others what they need.   :o)