Tuesday, August 5, 2014

It's Complicated.....

So, our middle son, S....

As I have said before, I worry about him more than the other two. Though things improved academically last year with a better understanding of his issues, some school interventions, and medication for ADHD, there was still something OFF that could not be explained by straight-forward ADHD. 

At the risk of looking like paranoid diagnosis-acronym-collecting parents, we made an appointment for him this summer with the same psychologist who saw B and J.  My husband and I had talked at length about it and felt like certain things were getting worse and also that we just needed SOME way to explain some of his more perplexing behavior to his teachers and find some solutions to deal with it at home and at school.  Teachers saw it too, so we had lots of support.

A big problem is that he lacks facial expressions in most situations.  Ironic, seeing as how he has always been my biggest ham for the camera. He can turn on a perfect photo smile like nobody's business. But at school or in chaotic situations, his expression is completely flat. Teachers do not know what to do with this, as they tend to think one or all of three things 1) He has no idea what is going on.  2) He doesn't care what's going on.  3) He's unhappy.  In reality, these are true very rarely.  People are always surprised to hear that he's a really content, happy kid at home! 

The testing showed pretty significant deficits in his ability to interpret facial expression and exhibit appropriate expressions of his own. In one test, he couldn't even match different faces that had the same expression.  

Like J, he also has problems with reciprocal conversation and also in understanding how to respond in a social situation... like a friend's subtle request to play. In one test, the psychologist had him playing Legos and made some different hints that she would like to play too, all of which he completely ignored. Then when she finally said, "I want to play Legos TOO!", he scooped up some of the ones he wasn't using, handed them to her and went back to what he was building. 

He also doesn't yet understand social greetings.... saying hello when you enter a room, goodbye when you leave, looking at people when you speak to them.  He also has a really hard time making eye contact, even when reminded. All of these were noted during the testing. 

The good news is that these are ALL things that he can be taught even if they don't come naturally. So that's what we'll be working on and will be cluing his teacher in on how to do the same. 

Yes, he technically ALSO now has a diagnosis of ASD;  BUT, the psychologist cautioned us to take that information with a grain of salt. 

First, it's very mild.  Second, the diagnostic criteria have recently changed to allow it to be diagnosed based on history not current symptoms, which encompasses WAY more people than it ever used to.  She isn't thrilled about that.  

I see positives to it this hough. While I likely will NOT share S's specific diagnosis with school, just knowing the causes of his struggles are in the ASD ballpark helps us understand better how to help and explain to others how to help. So I'm very much okay with it -- way more okay than constantly thinking that there is something up with my child that I just can't put my finger on and don't know how to help him with. 

So that's where we are going into a new school year.  Hoping all this information help us give him a great second grade year and that things really start to come together for him. 

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