A little background -- B LOVES swimming these days. Up until about two years ago though, he actually could barely do anything but doggie paddle and only in shallow water, and he most definitely would not go under water... couldn't stand any water on his face. Sensory issues and anxiety just got the better of him and we tried swim lessons three different times in the past with no success. Two years ago, deciding that an 8-year-old that couldn't swim was just getting a bit ridiculous, we found a wonderfully patient teacher who was a natural with kids like him and he made steady progress and breakthrough after breakthrough. Within months he was swimming free-style across the entire pool like he had been doing it for years.
Knowing our pool's swim team is pretty low-stress, but also that the daily practices and coaching were known to really move kids along, we suggested he give it a try last summer. It had to be his decision, and we had to move very slowly.... he did want to do it, but it took two weeks to get him to finish a whole practice, he cried and cried, but eventually he mustered the courage (once Tom gave the coach permission to just put him in the pool), and then he even competed in the last four meets of the season. The big surprise though was that once we got over the hump of his anxiety about deep water/cold water/swimming the length of the pool/practicing with kids his own age/this list goes on forever.... he turned out to be a natural!
By the end of the season, he had the basics of all four strokes down and was lightning fast in backstroke and freestyle. He even developed his own signature pre-race move when they would call his name, which was kind of hilarious. I don't think he ever swam a race without DQ'ing, but we never told him that. The progress alone was just amazing!
He got a whole fistful of ribbons (that he proudly displayed on his bulletin board over his desk) as well as the season's "Most Improved Swimmer" trophy. He still says the day he got that was the best day of his life.
The boost to his confidence that came from finding something he was REALLY good at was truly amazing. He had had a rocky school year with his anxiety, social stuff and learning to manage the ADHD -- we did multiple interventions including medication, and cognitive behavioral therapy; but I honestly credit swimming with really finishing the job of turning things around for him. Emotionally and socially he grew SO much over last summer. He has continued swimming lessons and fine-tuning his strokes all fall, winter, and spring in anticipation of this year's swim season. He works SO hard.
Still, his mind is his own worst enemy. He is already anxious about competing again, getting in the cold water, not being able to swim the length of the pool. I have to tiptoe around his anxieties, so as not to feed into them too much. It's a careful balance of letting him verbalize what he's worried about and not discounting those worries, but still convincing him to take a step back and remember that he LIKES swimming, and that he's pretty good at it!
So this morning, when I sprung on him that practice was tonight, he immediately burst into tears and said I had ruined his day. He started in on his list of why he was worried. I pointed to his big award from last year. "How did it make you feel to get this?" "Really great...." he answered between sniffles. "But I can't swim the length of the pool anymore!"
"It's the first practice, most kids probably can't. No one is going to make fun of you for grabbing the lane line if you need it."
He is SO afraid of failing, of being made fun of, and of course, all the sensory stuff that still bothers him -- cold water, not being able to see the other side of the pool.
I am hoping he is okay with I pick him up from school, but I'm bracing myself for a battle on the way to the pool. I just wish he wouldn't regress like this! All that work we did last year and it ended on such a wonderful note and now I feel like we're back at square one, at least temporarily....
Anxiety never goes away. You learn to cope and to hide it (sometimes); but it never goes away. I feel so sorry for him. I totally get it because I'm the same way. I wouldn't have wished it on him for anything.... but I guess it's a good thing that he has a parent who can totally understand his thought process. The bad news for him is that because I understand, I know he just needs to be pushed and not allowed to quit. I was often allowed to quit things that made me anxious... it makes things better in the moment, but not in the long run. Poor kid... his mom knows too much. ;)
So here we go. Wish us luck! I'm hoping for another great season! :)
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