My husband, who was diagnosed with ADHD at the same age our oldest son was, was staunchly anti-medication, as was I. Both of us can admit to having uttered the words, "We will NEVER put a child of ours on medication." Well, we all know what happens when you utter those "We will NEVER" sentences as parents.
Anyway, so after lots of trial and error, mostly error, we reached the point with B where his schoolwork was suffering, his teachers were pulling their hair out, and we were frustrated because we knew how well he COULD do, if only he could focus. He was never a "behavior issue" per se, but he was, to put it quite frankly, super annoying when he was at his worst (ridiculously impulsive, fidgety... just EVERYWHERE). He also couldn't focus well enough to finish classwork. Adderall turned out to be the answer. It had exactly ZERO negative side effects and exactly 101 positive ones. His schoolwork turned around almost instantly. He nows gets As (with an occasional B) in GT classes without issue. Adderall didn't fix all of his organizational issues, but those have improved with time, maturity and good habits. The medication just allowed him to tune out the distractions and calm his thoughts.
We reached the medication point quite quickly with S, after seeing how well it worked for B. He is not hyper like B, nor is he impulsive, but he does zone out and when he does, it's BAD and he can't accomplish a single thing. The medication hasn't made QUITE as striking a difference, as S's issues are deeper than just not being able to focus. But it did help.... the ability to focus was enough to help him get caught up to a good place in school.
There is no question that I would never send either one of them to school without at this point. However, on the weekends, I usually don't give it, because I feel like a break from it is good and their ADHD-related issues do not really come into play all that much at home. There is not much they really HAVE to focus on on the weekends and I really don't mind B's hyperactivity.
But now... it's summer. Last year, it was a no-brainer. B was the only one taking it and I didn't give it to him at all. This year, I have experimented with not giving it to either one and it is blowing up in my face.
S is doing swim team this year, which requires daily practices. The kids have to listen to the coach's direction and just DO it. Without the medication (which I didn't give at all until today's practice), he bobs aimlessly around and just generally looks like is mentally somewhere else.... completely oblivious to what the other kids are doing and what he is supposed to be doing. It's REALLY hard to watch as a parent. He is frustrating the heck out of the coach too. I finally broke down this morning and gave him the medicine and he followed all directions and stayed mentally with the coach for the majority of the practice. Hard to argue with the efficacy there.
B, on the other hand, doesn't really need the medication to focus on practice. He loves swimming, so he naturally focuses reasonably well and the fact that it's constant movement anyway eliminates most of the focus issues. However.... out of the pool is a different story. His impulsivity is off the charts. Today after swim practice, he led a near riot at the pancake bar. It was mortifying. He gets SO carried away and I have to get down on my knees and hold him by the shoulders to get him to calm down. He has been known to do completely insane things like dump cups of ice cream on his head or trash entire rooms when he gets really wound up. At his least destructive, he runs around in circles flapping his arms like a bird. This does NOT happen on the medication.
SO I think for this summer, most days are going to be medication days for one or the other or both.... especially for the duration of swim team season.
I didn't ever really foresee it being that way, but I try to remind myself it's like putting glasses on them.... just improves what they already have going for them.
It's tough though. These decisions. Really tough. But in the end, you do what works, I guess.... right?
Sigh.
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