So this weekend was kind of a whirlwind one for our family. We ran from place to place, each of which had its own challenges and behavior expectations. We had also been taking the break from school as an opportunity to buckle down on some potty training consistency for J. (which is a whole separate post....but anyway)

J's "preferred item/activity" (as they call it) is his Nintendo DS. I truly wish it were anything but that, but that's what it is, so there you go. He WOULD play it all day, left to his own devices, but, because we are at least TRYING to be decent parents, obviously, we limit it.  Because he loves it so much, we use it for motivation (such as potty training) and for when he needs a break from everything.

One of our destinations this weekend was our niece's 3rd birthday party. It was just family, but even with just family, it's ten adults and seven children from newborn - 10.  To put it mildly, it's chaos. VERY... LOUD.... CHAOS.   (even *I* find it a challenging to handle sometimes.... so I KNOW J does)

He actually did really well for quite awhile. He played in the backyard alongside his cousins pretty nicely, but after about 30-40 minutes of that, he started acting out. At one point, he swatted at the birthday girl for asking him to move out of the way so she could swing.  He didn't want anything to do with the other kids at that point. He asked to go inside. I took him in and he immediately retreated to a corner with his DS.

Now, if you had stumbled upon this scene at a party, you would probably immediately think to yourself, "What kind of parent lets their child play DS at a birthday party? That's ridiculous!" Believe me, I think that all the time and it's MY child; but it relaxes him and gets him back to a place where he can handle more demands, social and otherwise.  He did okay after that. Made it through presents and cake and saying goodbye nicely to everyone.

I have spent a lot of time over the years one-on one-with my two kids who need this time away from too much stimulation.  We're always the people in a quiet room or in a corner at some point during a party. My husband and I once took turns sitting outside of the Mexican restaurant in Epcot while everyone else ate dinner because B couldn't handle anything about it... the smell, the ambient noise, the lighting... it was just too much. As someone who very much values peace and quiet in the midst of chaos, I sort of don't mind this particular aspect of my kids. On the other hand, it would be nice sometimes to be able to take for granted that when we go to a social event, he would get excited about being with the other kids and just go off and play happily like everyone else.

Anyway, this is just another example of something that is subtly different about J and lots of other kids that you might either not notice, or stumble upon and misjudge what is going on.

Somewhat related, here's another interesting video I stumbled across.

They've been telling me that J may need assistance  when he gets to elementary school...  (I'm hoping not, but no one really knows anything for sure yet. It's kind of a wait and see game)

This video shows some of what I imagine we might encounter with him in school (probably to a lesser degree.) I post it partially because I thought it was neat that they use a DS for this little girl as something  to motivate her. I also just love this series of videos and how well they explain certain aspects of ASD that people might not be aware of.... like how typical kids get are motivated by the social aspect of school and get their "breaks" from social experiences .... and how ASD kids may NOT be motivated by that. I know J is certainly not at all!  B is only just this year really interested in that in 4th grade! So that has most definitely been our experience.

Check out the other videos in that series if you are interested.  They aren't all about high-functioning ASD kids. In fact, most are not. But you'll learn a lot!

Edited to Add:  I just realized I posted the same video here AND below. LOL! Oh well, it's a good one.  ;)